


Perspective

by psychotic_cat17



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotic_cat17/pseuds/psychotic_cat17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of three one-shots all describing the events that happen at the end of episode 2.19 through episode 2.20, each from a different character's perspective.</p><p>Spoilers for episodes 2.19 and 2.20 of Carmilla!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Carmilla

**Author's Note:**

> I thought so much of the acting for these episodes, and especially 2.20, was done nonverbally that I was inspired to write this. Each chapter is the telling of the same scene, but from a different perspective. The first scene of the first two chapters is totally made up and my own interpretation/headcanon of what might have preceded the second scene in those chapters, which is canon in action but, again, my own interpretation/headcanon of what each character is thinking/feeling internally. That means I very well might have some of the motivations wrong, but only time will tell. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, a big disclaimer that some/quite a bit of the spoken dialogue is not my own. I took it directly from the show since I didn’t want to challenge/change canon in that way. So a huge thank you to the writer of the show, Jordan Hall I believe (and I apologize profusely if that is not accurate) for writing that dialogue.

“You know, we could just go. Leave this ice-blasted wasteland behind, and let these immature children reap what they’ve sown with the Baron,” Mattie said. “I could take you back to Morocco with me.”

 Carmilla looked over at her sister with a small, sad smile on her face. “You know I can’t do that, Mattie.”

 “Can’t and won’t are two different things, Carm. That girl is going to be the death of you.” They’d been over this so many times in the past few weeks that most of the heat had left Mattie’s words. Carmilla hoped that her sister had finally come to the realization that she wasn’t going to change her mind, she wasn’t going to leave Laura. She couldn’t.  At least not yet.

 “Yeah, but I’m already dead,” Carmilla retorted, her smile turning into a grimace as the ball of pain in her chest that seemed to be a constant these days tightened even more. What was meant to be a teasing, light-heartedly flippant answer had turned more emotional than she had expected. She hadn’t realized until just this moment that she really did feel more lifeless now than she had in a long time.

 Mattie heaved a heavy sigh. “Can we at least agree to go find some dinner so that statement doesn’t become as true as you’re making it out to be?”

 Honestly, Carmilla didn’t feel much like eating, but she did need to keep up her strength. She’d binged on more blood than she was proud of that first week of her break-up with Laura, and it still left an unpleasant taste in her mouth when she thought about what Laura must think of her for her loss of control. True, she hadn’t killed anyone, she hadn’t killed anyone in a century or two except in self-defense, but she hadn’t been subtle about her distasteful feeding habits either. Needless to say, she was a little ashamed of her behavior, but it had to be better than letting Laura know how hurt she really was.

 A minute nod of her head was all it took for Mattie to gracefully push to her feet. Carmilla was once again struck by how elegant her sister was, and she wondered if that was how Mattie had been in life, or if she’d learned it over the centuries she’d been a vampire. She was deadly grace and beauty personified, and Carmilla had to admit that she admired that easy display of power to some extent.

 “I get to pick our meal,” Carmilla added, knowing that Mattie wouldn’t object if only to make her feel better. And true to Carmilla’s prediction, Mattie just shrugged and gestured for her to lead the way.

 As acute as Carmilla’s vampire senses were, they were even more sensitive when she was in her feline form. And tonight, she was looking for a very specific type of prey, so she let herself transform into a large panther-like creature. Truthfully, Carmilla took great joy in her other form, although right now it just felt freeing to be someone, or, more accurately, something else. Something with a purpose that wasn’t so utterly unattainable. Something with a completely different goal than what her human half wanted, but would never have.

 Carmilla caught the scent she was looking for not long after starting her search. Ever since Vordenberg had established his somehow superhuman Hunters, the scents of those initiated into the group had changed. They were still primarily human, but there was a tinge of something else – something supernatural – underneath that. There was something about their scents that actually warned Carmilla to stay away, but she was too stubborn to listen.

 She had to feed to survive, and with Vordenberg’s new anti-vampire edicts, that meant there was no place she could easily procure blood bags anymore. Now, the only way to feed was directly from the source. And if the Hunters wanted to ‘detain’ her and her kind, than Carmilla was only too happy to use their blood to sustain her life. It was just another way to stick it to Vordenberg and his Hunters without declaring outright war since she still hadn’t killed any of them, yet. Carmilla was working on the theory that they were essentially innocent students who were just being used by Vordenberg to do his dirty work. Whether or not that was true, Carmilla didn’t know, but it kept her from killing them, kept her from turning into the monster they all thought she was.

 By the time Carmilla realized that something was wrong, and that they weren’t the only ones hunting tonight, it was already too late. It had been too easy following their would-be dinner dates without being noticed. After all, she was prowling around as a freaking giant black cat, and Mattie was the most wanted vampire on the Silas campus. She should have felt that something was off, but it wasn’t until the first arrow shot past her, barely missing her flank, that Carmilla registered how screwed they really were. Vordenberg and the Hunters had set up a trap for them, and they’d stupidly walked right into the middle of a shooting gallery.

 A barrage of arrows quickly followed on the tail of the first. Neither she nor Mattie had cause to fear much, but an arrow through the heart would at the very least incapacitate them until the Hunters could finish the gruesome job they’d obviously been tasked with. Instinctively, Carmilla knocked Mattie to the ground and covered her body, refusing to lose the last person in the world who loved her. She dragged Mattie to cover in the bushes, hoping that her instincts were taking her in the right direction and away from the shooters.

 Carmilla had almost gotten them both out of the line of fire when a bolt of pain spiked through her chest and shoulder. It jolted her out of her feline form and the next thing Carmilla knew, she was flat on her back with the shaft of an arrow sticking out of her chest. Her first thought was of Laura, and she wondered if her stupidly courageous human would even care to find out what had happened to her.

 But then Mattie’s worried face swam into her hazy field of vision. She couldn’t quite focus on her sister, and the words that Mattie was yelling at her didn’t make much sense over the deafening sound of rushing blood in her ears.

 The pain in her chest was crippling. Carmilla raised her hand, groping for the arrow to pull it out. It was frustrating, and a little scary, how clumsy and leaden her arms had become. The effort it took to even force them off the ground by her side was great, and it totally drained her usually expansive reserve of energy.

 When she finally got her hand up to her chest, Mattie pulled it away before she could command her clumsy fingers to wrap around the shaft of the arrow. “Out, Mattie,” Carm cried with as much force as she could muster. “I want it out.” She tried again with even more determination to pull the arrow from her chest, but still couldn’t get a grasp on the damn thing. The jerky movements only served to cause her more pain, but that was probably what convinced Mattie to help instead of fighting her.

 “For God’s sake, I’ll do it. You’re just going to hurt yourself,” Mattie hissed, her voice a peculiar mixture of anger and concern that Carmilla had never heard before. As much as Carmilla had insisted on taking the arrow out, she wasn’t fully prepared for the jolt of pain that radiated from the center of the wound through her entire body as Mattie pulled the projectile from her chest. She let out a sharp cry and fought against the blackness that threatened to eclipse her vision.

 Carmilla wasn’t sure if she actually did pass out for a minute or not, but the next thing she was semi-consciously aware of was Mattie frantically encouraging her to get up. “They’re coming. We have to go, darling.” Even simple things were difficult for Carm to process right now, so she didn’t respond as quickly as Mattie obviously thought she should. “We have to go, now,” Mattie said more vehemently, getting to her feet and pulling Carmilla up alongside her with a rough jerk. Fear was evident in Mattie’s voice, and that more than anything triggered what was left of Carmilla’s severely waning reserves to get herself moving.

 “We need to get you someplace safe, darling,” Mattie said a little more gently as they began hobbling away from disaster behind them as quickly as possible.

  _Safe_. It was a concept that honestly felt quite foreign to Carmilla even though she hadn’t really feared mortality in a long time. Still, Carmilla’s most primitive brain knew where she felt the safest, where she was the most at peace. It wasn’t a place, it was a person. _Laura._

 * * *

 The trek across campus was mostly a blur for Carmilla. All she could remember was pain, and trying her hardest to fight against the unconsciousness that pulsed at the edge of her vision with every step, waiting for that one moment of weakness to put her down permanently. She had to keep going, more for Mattie’s sake than for her own. Mattie wouldn’t leave her, and Carmilla refused to be the reason that her sister got killed if Vordenberg’s Hunters caught up to them.

 Carmilla didn’t know where Mattie was taking her. Neither of them had any allies anymore, but she was too weak and disoriented to care. Giving any thought to their potential safe haven was not a priority for Carmilla when she could barely put one foot in front of the other. Wherever Mattie was leading them, it had to be better than the certain death that waited behind.

 A shiver coursed through her body when she felt the slight change in air pressure that indicated they’d entered an enclosed space. The warmth that Carmilla had expected to feel from being off the chilling, windswept landscape of the quad never came. Apparently, she’d lost more blood than she’d thought, and it was not a particularly good sign that she wasn’t even hungry. She needed to replace the blood she’d lost and get her strength back.

 Carmilla heard a crash as though from far away, and she tensed for another attack. Unfortunately, she was beyond useless in her current state. At the moment, she might even welcome death if it came quickly enough. But no attack ever came. Instead, Carmilla felt a familiar hand splay across the bottom of her rib cage right before a warm body pressed up against her left side. Instantly, Carmilla’s thoughts turned to Laura, but she knew it was just her imagination playing tricks on her, conjuring up the one person in the world she wanted most.

 Moments before she thought she might finally collapse, Carmilla was lowered onto a seat. It sent a jolt of discomfort through her body, but she was grateful that she could finally rest. She was tired and her limbs had started to go numb.

 Carmilla felt Mattie leave her side, but she wasn’t worried. Warmth still blanketed the other side of her body, and it was beginning to seep inside of her, chasing away the cold and loneliness if not her physical pain. She would choose the pain of her body over the one in her heart any time.

 The smell of blood, this time not her own, tickled her nose a second before she felt the plastic blood bag press against her lips. She drew from it because she needed the strength, but it was all she could do to keep the blood down. One meager sip was all she could manage, but it was enough to focus her back in the present for a short time.

 “Mattie, where did you bring me?” It hurt to speak and her own voice sounded foreign to her; a little too hoarse, a little too raw.

 When her sister didn’t answer, Carmilla cracked her eyes open. It took them a moment to adjust to the painfully bright artificial light, and even after all of that, they would only focus for a second at a time before blurring once again. Still, it was long enough for Carmilla to see the pointed look Mattie was throwing over her shoulder to the other side of her body, and Carmilla slowly turned her head in that direction, well aware that any sudden movements might cause her to pass out.

 Her vision dimmed as she moved her head, but she resisted the sweet pull of unconsciousness. Laura’s face swam into focus for a brief second before Carmilla had to shut her eyes again. “Oh, perfect,” she muttered. Why was it that Laura always had to see her at her worst? Vordenberg’s anti-vampire propaganda, and admittedly some of her own ill-conceived actions, already had Laura thinking the worst of her, and this mess wasn’t going to do anything to change those opinions.

 “Yeah, it’s terrific to see you too,” Laura said. Carmilla could hear the hurt in her voice, and it made her heart clench in protest, but she was utterly spent. What little infusion of energy the blood had given her was gone, and Carmilla was too tired to explain herself, even if she could come up with the right words to comfort Laura. Something as simple as ‘I’m sorry’ just wasn’t going to cut it in this situation. There were far too many things between them at this point, and she didn’t have the brain power to coherently talk about any of them right now.

 Shortly after that, Carmilla felt the warmth in her body recede as Laura moved away. She mourned the loss immediately and instinctively tried to lean more heavily on Mattie. But her sister was suddenly gone as well, and it was all Carmilla could do to keep herself sitting upright instead of face-planting on the desk in front of her. She was sure that some of Laura’s viewers would love to see that, but the humor of the situation was quickly lost to the pain pulsing through her body in ever increasing waves.

 Distantly, Carmilla could hear arguing going on behind her, but the words were being fired too fast for her to process, as though they were spoken in some foreign language she didn’t know. The only thing her taxed brain could grasp was that Mattie and Laura were once again at each others’ throats. She wished that the two most important people in her life could get along better, but that seemed like a pipe dream. Laura was convinced that Mattie was a merciless killer, and Mattie didn’t understand how a tiny, insignificant human could infatuate her so totally. Likely, they were both just afraid that the other would be too much of an influence on her.

 Carmilla heard someone leave and instinctively knew it was Laura. She’d been living with Laura long enough, both this semester and last, that her body had become attuned to the human. Carmilla’s senses had become even more acutely synced to Laura when they’d been together, but, unfortunately for her, that sensitivity hadn’t decreased when they’d broken up. Sometimes it was torture being in the apartment with Laura when she had to restrain herself from doing all the little intimate things she used to, but the alternative of cutting Laura completely out of her life wasn’t appealing either.

 For what seemed like an eternity, Carmilla was lost in her own pain. A couple of times, she felt Mattie put the blood bag to her lips, but she pulled away every time. It felt like acid was eating through her stomach, and she doubted that she’d be able to keep it down, so better to save it for a time when its effects wouldn’t be wasted.

 The next thing Carmilla registered was being drawn back against a small warm body, a very familiar body. If she hadn’t hurt so much, or been such a bloody mess, Carmilla would have gladly collapsed into that warm embrace. It was exactly what she needed, and while her physical body still throbbed with pain, being cradled in Laura’s arms again was a soothing balm for her soul. This was where she wanted to be forever; wrapped in Laura’s arms, surrounded by her intoxicating scent. She could almost believe that Laura loved her.

 Then she was pulled away from that comforting embrace. A blanket was wrapped around her shoulders, but it couldn’t replace the warmth that she’d lost. Nothing could.

 The pain in her chest escalated as she was pulled from her seat. Someone – not Mattie – ushered her across the room. She bit her lip against the pain of moving again, thankful that she didn’t have to take more than a dozen excruciating steps before she was lowered onto another cushioned surface. There was no fight left in her as she was directed to lie back, and Carmilla had to assume that whatever was happening met with Mattie’s approval because she didn’t have the strength to help herself. If Mattie wasn’t dead, Mattie would protect her.

 Something sharp dug into the epicenter of her pain and Carmilla was barely able to bite back a yelp. Her muscles twitched, wanting nothing more than to make it stop, but attacking the ‘surgeon’ wouldn’t end well for anyone. At least it didn’t go on for long. Carmilla felt the shard stuck in her chest push slightly deeper before it was drawn slowly from the wound. The burning was still there, but at least the sharp pain like a red hot poker stabbing her in the chest had dissipated.

 “How are you feeling, darling?” Mattie asked, her voice a lot closer than Carmilla had expected. She’d totally missed Mattie’s move across the room.

 “Like an overly-enthusiastic veterinarian just played _Operation_ with my innards.” Carmilla wasn’t feeling particularly snarky or sarcastic at the moment, but old habits died hard. And maybe if she pretended to be back to her old self, she would be.

 “Well, if that’s the case, it’s good we’ll be staying put for awhile, while you recover.” Mattie knew her better than anyone, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Carmilla when her sister saw right through her ploy.

 Still, another question niggled at the back of her mind, demanding to be asked and keeping her from lapsing into unconsciousness. “How did you get little Miss Tightly Wound to agree to that?”

 “She promised you were done with your little spree,” Laura said from across the room. Apparently not everyone had left with the would-be surgical team. Then again, with the way her night was going so far, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that Laura was still here to witness her misery.

 “You have got to be kidding me.” Carmilla knew that the bargain Laura and Mattie had made was probably best for everyone, but it still stung a little to be used as a pawn in their game. Unfortunately, she was in no condition to put up much of an argument. In fact, Carmilla wondered if it would be a terribly bad idea for her to just pass out now. They were safe for the moment, so it sounded like a solid plan to her…


	2. Mattie

“You know, we could just go. Leave this ice-blasted wasteland behind, and let these immature children reap what they’ve sown with the Baron,” Mattie said. Before, she’d had responsibilities, but now that her position had been usurped, there was little reason for her to stay. Sure, it would tickle her to stick around until Vordenberg was put back in his proper place, but she was all about self-preservation, and the safest place to be was anywhere but here. “I could take you back to Morocco with me.”

 The heartbreakingly sad smile that Carmilla gave her was anguishing enough to cause her own chest to tighten painfully in sympathy. No matter what horribly bad decisions her sister made, she still hated to see Carm in pain. Mattie already knew what Carmilla’s answer would be before she opened her mouth, but that didn’t stop her from hoping she’d finally come to her senses. “You know I can’t do that, Mattie.”

 “Can’t and won’t are two different things, Carm.” Mattie wished like hell that Carmilla would reconsider. The cub reporter she’d been so infatuated with wasn’t worthy of her loyalty after everything that had happened between them. “That girl is going to be the death of you.” And, by proxy, Laura would probably be the death of her as well because she couldn’t leave Carmilla when her sister obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. Emotional entanglements were always messy, and Carmilla had yet to learn that lesson in a way that made it stick permanently.

 “Yeah, but I’m already dead.” For a moment, a pain so acute that Mattie could almost feel it, crossed over Carmilla’s face. She wondered what memory could be so painful that it would cause such a visceral reaction. If she could, Mattie would erase it from Carmilla’s mind, but she was under no illusions that it was also a memory her sister likely wanted to keep. Wasn’t it the case that so many of the memories that caused the most pain were also the ones that people wanted to cherish forever?

 Not really knowing what to do except try to distract Carmilla from wherever her internal thoughts were going, Mattie made a suggestion. “Can we at least agree to go find some dinner so that statement doesn’t become as true as you’re making it out to be?” They’d been eating well since Vordenberg’s vampire ‘detainment’ edict had been voted into law. It was as much a form of protest as a need for sustenance because they had to keep their strength up as they continued to be hunted.

 Mattie waited until Carmilla begrudgingly nodded her head in agreement before rising to her feet and smoothing out the lines in her skirt. But before she could take a single step towards the door, Carmilla spoke up. “I get to pick our meal.”

 A slight frown marred Mattie’s forehead before she agreed. Carmilla was far more selective of who she liked to feed off of than Mattie was. A few days ago, before Baron Vordenberg had taken her position of Chair of the Silas Board, they’d gone out and Carmilla had insisted on feeding only from those they could put under their thrall. It made their meals more pliable, which meant less damage to the humans since they wouldn’t struggle against a bite, which also meant that they were boring prey. Mattie usually liked a bit more of a challenge, but she also had a soft spot for Carm, so she deferred to her preferences.

 In the next instant, when Carmilla shimmered and changed into a panther, Mattie raised a practiced disinterested eyebrow and muttered, “Show off.” Carmilla had exceptionally good command of her shifting ability because she enjoyed her other form so much, and it was one of the few things that Mattie actually kind of envied her sister for.

 Mattie followed behind Carmilla as she padded out the door. It really was beautiful to see Carmilla in her feline form. She was deceptively strong in her human form, but there was no masking her raw physicality when she prowled around as a panther. The lines of her body were all sleek muscle and she moved with an enviable grace that had Mattie resisting the urge to reach out and touch that perfection. There was also a thrill of danger surrounding her that Mattie always found to be more potent when Carmilla was in this form.

 Carmilla didn’t seem to be in any hurry as she searched for their meal and Mattie walked along beside her, ignoring the chilling wind that never seemed to stop blowing. Stalking prey had become more and more difficult the longer Vordenberg had been in power. Students were warned to stay in at night unless they absolutely had to go somewhere, so it was usually only the Vampire Hunters that were out in force during their prime feeding time. Vordenberg had all the students deathly afraid of the ‘vampiric scourge’, even though there’d been the same number of undead on campus for weeks now and deaths had only escalated once they’d been provoked. Propaganda really was a wonderfully effective tool.

 It took Carmilla a few minutes to track down what she considered to be an appropriate meal and Mattie stayed quiet until she did. Pointing out potential targets was useless when she knew that Carmilla was well aware of every potential donor they passed. But she couldn’t hide a sadistic smile or resist complimenting Carmilla on her choice when it became obvious who they were stalking. “Good choice, darling,” Mattie hummed in approval as they followed two of Vordenberg’s Hunters across the north quad. She wondered if perhaps Carmilla might make an exception and not be mad at her if she got a little carried away and killed these two. They were the enemy after all.

 Mattie was already anticipating the moment of their attack when the two Zetas slipped suddenly around a corner. It was only then that Mattie tasted the unexpectedly high amount of excitement in the air. She’d originally thought that it was just her own anticipation, but quickly realized her mistake when an arrow flew past and almost grazed Carmilla.

 Just as she whirled around to face their cowardly hidden attackers, Mattie was knocked to the ground. She winced as her hip collided with the frozen, unforgiving ground, sending a shockwave of pain radiating through her body. There was no time to take proper stock of the damage while they were under attack.

 She was about to come up fighting when she realized that it had been Carmilla who’d knocked her to the ground and was now dragging her toward the undergrowth that lined the path. The going was slower than it had to be because the stupid cat was shielding her with its body, but it still wasn’t more than a few seconds before they both tumbled into the bushes. They weren’t completely out of danger, but at least they were out of sight for the moment and the Hunters could only guess at their exact location.

 Mattie was just taking a moment to figure out how bad her injury was when she heard a surprised shout and looked up just in time to see Carmilla fall to the ground with an arrow jutting out of her chest. The scariest thing about it was that Carmilla did nothing to try to break her fall and she slammed mercilessly into the hard-packed earth. Carmilla did nothing to protect herself.

 After a moment of shocked disbelief where she witnessed Carmilla collapse as though in slow motion, Mattie scrambled over to her. “Carm! Darling, are you alright?” Of course she wasn’t alright, but that didn’t stop Mattie from wanting to hear the reassuring words. The arrow was sticking out of Carmilla’s chest just inches away from her heart. Mattie had never felt a moment of such blind panic in her entire life, and it frustrated her to tears that she was so utterly helpless. Carmilla was already a vampire, there was no bringing her back again if she suffered a true death.

 Carmilla stared blankly up at the star-filled sky, her gaze unfocused and so far away that Mattie wondered if she would ever come back. “Carm!” she screamed, barely able to restrain herself from thumping Carmilla in the chest. Carmilla had no heart beat to restart, and any more trauma to her torso couldn’t be anything but detrimental to her ultimate recovery. The move might serve to make Mattie feel better, feel like she was actually doing _something_ , but it wouldn’t be helpful.

 Then Carmilla groaned and twitched, her eyes blinking slowly as they tried to focus. The relief that swept through Mattie was a full body reaction and she quickly dashed away the tears that had started to leak unbidden down her cheeks. “Darling, can you hear me?” she asked, hating the slight tremor in her voice, but unable to do anything to stop it.

 Carmilla still hadn’t spoken, but she started to lift her arms. That at least was a good sign, even if it didn’t look as though her fine motor skills were functioning yet. But Mattie quickly figured out that Carmilla was trying to pull the arrow from her chest and she drew her hands away, perhaps a little more emphatically than was truly necessary since Carmilla was so weak. It was difficult for a vampire to bleed to death since every single drop had to be drained from their body for a permanent death to stick, but that didn’t mean Mattie wanted expedite the process by removing the arrow.

 “Out, Mattie,” Carm cried, the pained plea shredding her heart as surely as any weapon. “I want it out.” When Carmilla struggled against her weakly, trying once again to pull the deadly shaft from her chest, Mattie didn’t have any choice but to give in.

 “Damn it,” she swore, too easily subduing Carmilla once again. “For God’s sake, I’ll do it. You’re just going to hurt yourself.” Carmilla stopped struggling at her words and Mattie grasped the shaft of the arrow, quickly pulling it out of Carmilla’s chest. The cry that Carmilla released made Mattie’s stomach churn in protest, but she was more focused on the fact that part of the arrowhead had broken off. She took a closer look at Carmilla’s wound, trying to see past the fresh rivulets of blood that were streaming from the puncture site, and thought she caught a glimpse of the tip.

 But before Mattie could try to pull it out, she became aware of footsteps edging closer to where they were hidden. She listened for a moment, desperately trying to block out Carmilla’s little heart-wrenching whimpers of pain, and determined that it was a group of Hunters. They had run out of time, they had to move; put as much space between them and their pursuers as possible.

 Mattie trailed her fingers along Carmilla’s cheek until her sister looked at her, eyes hazy with pain. “They’re coming,” she said quiet enough that the Hunters wouldn’t hear. “We had to go, darling.” Carmilla continued to stare up at her blankly, her focus going in and out. The entire time, Mattie could hear the Hunters getting steadily closer. It wouldn’t be too long before they were upon them.

 “We have to go, _now_!” Mattie said more urgently. She pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the spike of fire that shot from her hip down her leg, and pulled Carmilla up with her. Mattie gritted her teeth against Carmilla’s cry of pain. Some discomfort now would be worth it if they made it out of this alive.

 Still, Mattie couldn’t suppress her need to try to soothe Carmilla as she steered them away from the advancing voices of their pursuers. “We need to get you someplace safe, darling.” Of course, Mattie didn’t know exactly where that would be since everyone on the campus was against them, but she was determined to find a place where Carmilla would be safe until she recovered.

 She would pick a more refined direction later, but for now, as long as they were moving away from the voice behind them, this one would have to do. Then Mattie heard Carmilla whisper Laura’s name. She couldn’t believe that after everything Laura had inadvertently put into play, this potentially life-threatening injury being one result in a long line of screw ups, that Carmilla still trusted the human. However, Laura was the only person on campus that they might have a chance of getting to help them, so Mattie adjusted their path to head towards their mother’s old apartment. “I hope Samantha Spade’s in the mood to play Florence Nightingale,” Mattie grumbled with more than just a hint of sarcasm as she pulled Carmilla tighter against her side and set out at a more determined pace.

 * * *

 A trip that should have taken them minutes to complete was edging very close to the half hour mark as the building came into view. As much as Mattie had wanted to take a more direct route, there was no cover going directly across the quad, so she’d opted for the longer, but safer way around. Had either of them been at full strength, the lack of cover wouldn’t have been a problem. It also didn’t make their trip any faster when Carmilla kept falling, dropping to her knees and dry heaving into the grass a few times before Mattie could get her back on her feet.

 Stops were becoming more and more frequent the further they travelled, and Mattie had to admit to herself that she was more than just a little worried about Carmilla. Vampires could take a lot of abuse and physical damage, but Carmilla needed blood desperately if she was going to heal.

 After what felt like an eternity, Mattie finally got them where they were headed. She was too anxious and concerned to try being subtle, not that she ever really chose that tact, and pushed through the apartment door with a bang. “Alright, Lolita,” Mattie gritted out when she saw Laura sitting in her usual spot in front of her camera, “time to make yourself useful.” When Laura didn’t immediately jump up to assist her, Mattie was angry enough to kill her. There was a gaping wound in Carmilla’s chest, the life dripping out of her one drop at a time, and Laura just sat there, staring at them. “Well, don’t just sit there gawking at us, get off your ass and help us!”

 That finally seemed to prod Laura into action, and she lurched out of her seat. “Oh my god! Carm! What happened?”

  _What happened? Your precious Baron Vordenberg tried to kill me, tried to kill my sister! That’s what happened!_ Not that Laura probably had much of an interest in all the messed up crap that had gone on. Still, she was helping, taking some of Carmilla’s weight and giving up her seat, so Mattie decided she probably deserved something of an explanation. “We were stalking some of Vordenberg’s souped up henchbros across the north quad. It was a trap. They led us into a shooting gallery. Arrows everywhere!” It still pissed Mattie off that she hadn’t realized their easy meal ticket was just a ploy until it was too late.

 “Congratulations, you finally got the Summers and the Zetas to cooperate,” Laura said. Mattie would have taken offense to the undercurrent of sarcasm in Laura’s voice if she hadn’t had other things occupying her mind. Carm needed blood; she needed blood now.

 “She managed to drag me in the bushes, but they put an arrow in her chest. I think part of it’s still lodged in there. She needs blood!” If Carmilla were strong enough, she could heal even with part of the arrowhead still embedded in her chest. It would hurt like a bitch taking it out later, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.

 “There’s some in the fridge,” Laura offered. That was all Mattie needed to hear as she left Carmilla in Laura’s care for a second while she made a run to the kitchen. Laura’s excuse of not having had time to throw it out yet fell on deaf ears as Mattie focused single-mindedly on her task. Having something to do, even something as simple as fetching a blood bag, made her feel a lot more useful than just fretting helplessly over Carmilla’s condition.

 She found the blood easily and hurried back to Carmilla, taking a quick pull from the bag herself. The blood would help repair her bruised hip, and hopefully fortify her courage against the dire thoughts that filtered endlessly through her mind. They were far from safe, and Carmilla was far from out of danger yet.

 “Here, sweetie,” Mattie said as she fit the blood bag to Carmilla’s lips. “Here’s some liquid courage.”

 Carmilla barely took a mouthful before pulling away. Such a small amount would do little to help her heal when she was still actively bleeding, but Mattie couldn’t force her to take more. The last thing she wanted was to push Carmilla into a coughing fit, especially with the agony that she must already be feeling in her chest.

 “Mattie, where did you bring me?” She was so relieved to hear Carmilla speak again that she barely registered the words. Carmilla still didn’t sound right, but that fact that she was putting forth the effort it took to speak was a step in the right direction. Then, when she finally did process what Carmilla had said, Mattie wondered how intact Carm’s memory really was. It had been at Carmilla’s request that they’d come here, but she must have been totally out of it when she’d made the suggestion. Her concern that Carmilla might be more damaged than she’d first thought didn’t even allow for her to take the slightest bit of pleasure in the short squabble that followed.

 She only started to focus back in on the conversation when Laura spoke to her. “She needs a surgeon. Or, someone who spends way too much time thinking about human dissection.”

 Carmilla had talked enough, too much even, about Laura and her friends for Mattie to know that there was one such curious scientist under the same roof. Normally, she wouldn’t have asked for help from anyone, certainly not someone who was less than one hundred percent qualified for this kind of thing, but Carmilla was in so much pain. And honestly, the worst thing right now would be to do nothing since Carmilla wouldn’t heal on her own without nourishment and she was refusing blood.

 “Terrific. Rustle up one of your mad scientists, and let’s get the show on the road.”

 “No,” Laura said, surprising Mattie with her answer. No matter how much she had disapproved of Carmilla’s relationship with Laura, Mattie had at least thought that Laura had some feelings for Carm; enough emotional attachment that she wouldn’t want to see Carmilla dead. Apparently, sometimes even she was wrong.

 “What?” she hissed, hardly believing that Laura would dare to deny her, even if she felt nothing for Carmilla anymore. And while Mattie knew that when Carmilla was better, her sister would probably hate her for it, she was severely tempted to rip Laura apart and go find her little friend herself. She could be very persuasive when she needed to be, and if all else failed, she wasn’t above holding the lives of loved ones over someone’s head to get them to cooperate.

 “No,” Laura stated more firmly. “You guys are on a rampage and I’m not going to risk my friends’ lives until you and I have an understanding.”

 Honestly ‘rampage’ was kind of a strong word, although Mattie did like the sound of it. If Carmilla’s more human sensibilities hadn’t been holding them, then Laura really would have seen what a rampage looked like. “Understanding? Try this on for size. Your value to me ends the second you can’t, or won’t, help her.” Mattie had never meant anything more, and she was not in the habit of lying. Lying was for people who feared the consequences of their actions, and Mattie feared little. In fact, before tonight, she would have said she feared nothing, but being faced with the mortality of the one person in this world that she loved had a way of changing her perspective.

 Laura seemed entirely unimpressed with her threat even though she was deadly serious. “And as soon as that happens, you’re going to kill me in a way that would probably qualify as post-modern art. We’ve had this conversation. Only killing me, it’s not going to help Carm. And as much as you flounce around like the spokes-model for casual violence, you care about her. So here’s how it’s gonna be: I’ll call LaF and J.P., and they will help her, and then I will hide the two of you here until she recovers. And in return, neither of you is going to bite, maim, or kill anyone at all, for any reason. Because if you do, I will have the Baron’s army of stake-happy super-minions down here so fast that you’ll get whiplash. Understood?”

 Perhaps Carm hadn’t been lying when she’d said that Laura was stronger than she’d thought. And in some other situation, Mattie might have admired the tiny human’s defiance, even if it wouldn’t save her from a horrible death, but right now, she did not appreciate it. Still, Mattie could hear the unshakeable determination in Laura’s voice and knew there were few options open to her, so she answered in the only way she could. “Understood,” she said begrudgingly, entertaining gruesome fantasies in her mind of pulling Laura limb from limb as slowly and painfully as possible. “Get your friend.”

 Laura nodded her head and ran out the door. At least she wasn’t dawdling now that they’d struck a bargain. Mattie busied herself with attending to Carmilla while they waited for Laura and her friends to come back. She tried to get Carm to drink some more blood, but it wasn’t any use. Every time she pressed the blood bag to Carmilla’s lips, it would be shaken off. “Come on, sweetie, you need to get your strength back,” she practically pleaded. Carmilla was only getting worse and Mattie was back to feeling helpless again.

 What felt like an eternity later, Laura came back, dragging her mad scientist friend with her. Mattie moved quickly out of the way as the science nerd started their inspection. She didn’t like the underlying tone of glee she heard in their voice, but this was the best option – the only option – she had open to her. Neither was Mattie too fond of the way Laura drew Carmilla back against her body, supporting her. It was far too familiar for her liking, especially since Laura had just used Carmilla’s life as the price in their little deal.

 Mattie tuned out the frantic conversation going on around her, especially when the high-strung one started jabbering on about how she and Carmilla shouldn’t be here. She waited impatiently in the background, just wanting this whole thing to be over and Carmilla to be healthy again. This is, until she was once again accused of killing the staff at the Voice of Silas. It was getting real tiring to hear these children harp on the same thing over and over again, especially when she hadn’t done it, so she finally decided to set the record straight once and for all.

 “Oh, for the love of… I had nothing to do with your newspaper pals. I wasn’t even in the God-forsaken country until days after they were dead.”

 That should have been the end of it. Mattie was used to having the final say on all matters and it perturbed her when another impassioned response was fired back at her. “Liar! You killed them! You cut me up and you tried to kill me. I never sleep anymore without seeing them; without seeing their dead eyes looking at me. And you did that! You did that, and the least you can do is admit it!”

 Mattie had never felt the urge to explain herself before, but this verbal attack was effectively distracting her from more important things. She had to make sure the mad scientist over there didn’t do something unspeakably deranged to her sister while they were playing surgeon. “If I’d done it, I would,” she said, willing them to believe her and finally drop the subject. She’d never hidden her bloody past before, and she had no reason to start now. She was a vampire, and she made no apologies for the people that she’d killed throughout her life, whether for food, for work, or even just for fun. It was a part of her nature and she didn’t suppress it.

 “You’re still a killer. You’ve always been a killer.”

  _Who the hell are you?_ Mattie thought. As true as those words were, the way they’d been spoken sounded so definite, so grounded in indisputable fact that it could only come from someone who knew her dirty little secrets. Hot chocolate girl had seemed familiar to her from the first, but she still hadn’t been able to place her, and that fact bugged Mattie to no end.

 Before she could pursue it any further, she was reminded that a delicate procedure was being conducted behind her, and that she very much cared about the outcome. She turned a watchful eye on the proceedings, more nervous than she’d ever been. The fill-in surgeon might think that Carmilla was nearly invulnerable, but Mattie knew just how weak and defenseless her sister was right now.

 She breathed a measured sigh of relief when they announced that they’d gotten the rest of the arrowhead out of Carmilla’s chest. It was an exercise in restraint not to run directly to Carmilla’s side, pushing the surgeon and their assistant out of the way, but she managed to wait until they’d picked up their instruments and were leaving.

 “How are you feeling, darling?” she asked, knowing it was a stupid question but still wanting some reassurances that everything would be okay now. They were a long way from that, but at least one problem was taken care of. The only thing that could make Mattie feel better was if Carmilla would start taking blood again.

 “Like an over-enthusiastic veterinarian just played _Operation_ with my innards.” That was probably pretty close to an accurate description of what had just happened. The fact that the surgery had been successful didn’t make it any less painful for Carmilla though. And Carmilla could try to hide her pain behind a thick layer of sarcasm all she wanted, but Mattie wasn’t going to fall for it. She’d had similar injuries in her lifetime, so she knew firsthand how agonizing they were.

 “Well, if that’s the case, it’s good we’ll be staying put for awhile, while you recover.” She waited for Carmilla to put up an argument, and when none came, Mattie knew this was the only option open to them. It would be difficult enough to leave even if Carmilla was physically capable of it right now, but she didn’t sound confident at all about her mobility.

 “How did you get little Miss Tightly Wound to agree to that?”

 Before she could answer that it didn’t matter, or some other sort of vague answer about how they’d come to an agreement, Laura spoke up. “She promised you were done with your little spree.” If she’d been standing by Laura, Mattie might have wrung the little gnat’s neck. The last thing any of them needed was for another juvenile bickering match to break out, and Laura should have been smart enough not to provoke Carmilla in her current state.

 “It was either that, or take our chances with the Baron’s juiced-up army out there,” Mattie said, trying to defuse the situation. They had to stay here until Carmilla could move under her own power again, and who knew how long that might take if she wasn’t interested in replenishing her blood loss.

 Before Mattie could get sucked into her turbulent inner thoughts, the worry and guilt that plagued her as she looked at Carmilla’s bloody body, knowing that at least some of Carmilla’s pain was her fault, Perry rushed in. She wasn’t paying much attention until she caught the panic in Perry’s voice as she said, “We don’t have time for that. We need to hide them! Now!”

 There could be only one reason for that, and Mattie’s suspicions were confirmed when Laura’s overly dramatic friend finished with, “The storm troopers are coming.” As much as Mattie feared for Carmilla’s life because her sister wasn’t in good enough shape to defend herself, she almost felt a little thrill at the thought of a potential battle. She was feeling much better after fortifying herself with blood, and she was very much in the mood to rip someone limb from limb. _Bring it on_.


	3. Laura

Laura finally thought she understood how Perry had been feeling since LaFontaine had somehow Frankensteined J.P.’s consciousness into Will’s body. Granted, Laura didn’t have the extra bad luck of being attacked by weird supernatural entities every five seconds like Perry did, but she was beginning to understand the loneliness Perry must have felt. And now that Perry had effectively made up with LaF and J.P., for the moment at least, Laura felt like the odd man out. A lot of it was her own doing because she didn’t much feel like hanging around other people right now, but it was still hard.

 Saving all of Silas’s students from whatever evil plans Mattie had in store for them was certainly a rewarding experience, but the fallout from that wasn’t going to keep her warm on these cold winter nights. Not that there’d been anyone doing that for longer than Laura cared to think about; not since Carmilla had broken up with her. She still wasn’t entirely certain exactly what had gone wrong there, but their inability to talk about anything of importance in regards to their relationship for more than a minute without being interrupted with some new crisis on campus certainly hadn’t helped.

 At least she still had her broadcasts to keep her focused on something other than the complicated mess her life had turned into. And since she was apparently a not so great judge of character, she’d finally limited the public’s access to her ongoing vlog. She should have learned the you-never-know-who’s-watching lesson last semester with the Dean, but then she’d never professed to being on the above average side of the bell curve. So tonight was just another lonely night, sitting in front of her camera and giving a recap of her crazy life, all the while trying not to think about all the things Carmilla might be doing out there; all the things that might be putting her ex-girlfriend in danger.

 She should have known it was never meant to work out between them. Carmilla was a vampire, she was human. Carmilla didn’t care about anyone other than those she was close to, a select group that Laura _used_ to be a part of, and she had always been drawn to fighting for the underdog; those who had no one else on their side. Carmilla had bitten her, she’d kidnapped and tied Carmilla up for nine days. Those things were not the recipe to the start of a great, or healthy, relationship. They were so obviously bad for each other, so fundamentally different, that Laura supposed it was inevitable that they had to go their separate ways. It didn’t matter how much she lov- liked Carm.

 Speaking in completely generic terms and with no one in particular in mind Laura continued her latest broadcast. “I thought it was supposed to go: You love who you love and all of your other differences just fade away, and you don’t end up some nineteen year old girl with a broken–“ Laura heard the sound of a door crashing open behind her and just went with it, “door?” She probably should have been concerned about intruders, but history had mostly taught her that it was usually her friends coming to interrupt her with information on some new horribly unspeakable evil.

 This time, however, when she turned around, Laura was faced with what could legitimately be considered her worst nightmare. Mattie was stumbling, yes stumbling – the personification of evil confident grace herself was stumbling – through the door, supporting an injured Carmilla. “Alright, Lolita, time to make yourself useful,” Mattie said.

 Laura couldn’t even be mad at Mattie for once again talking down to her. Her eyes were glued to the red stain on Carmilla’s shirt in disbelief. Carmilla was a vampire. She was invincible. She hadn’t even died when she was supposed to after using the Blade of Hastur to take on her mother. But Laura had never seen Carmilla bleed before, and that very mortal quality had her heart beating a panicked rhythm against her ribcage.

 She was frozen to the spot, wishing desperately that this was just some kind of vivid nightmare and she would wake up to find that everything was fine, that Carmilla was alive and well and definitely not bleeding from a chest wound mere feet in front of her. The arrow that Mattie still clutched in her right hand gave Laura a pretty good idea of what had made the wound, and Laura felt as though she might be sick when she thought about that arrow piercing Carmilla’s body just a few scant inches to the right of where it had actually hit.

 “Well, don’t just sit there gawking at us, get off your ass and help us!” Mattie’s fear-tinged words pulled Laura out of her own mental hell of what-ifs and she sprang forward. Carmilla wasn’t dead, at least not yet, and she had to help her.

 “Oh my god! Carm! What happened?” she asked as she put her left hand on Carmilla’s stomach to prevent her from falling forward. It wasn’t lost on her that when they’d been together, one of her favorite things had been to play her fingers across Carmilla’s abdomen, mostly because it drove Carm crazy even though she’d always refused to admit it. Today, however, there was nothing teasing or light-hearted about the touch. Carmilla didn’t look stable at all, and Laura helped Mattie maneuver her over to sit down in the seat she’d just vacated.

 “We were stalking some of Vordenberg’s souped up henchbros across the north quad. It was a trap. They led us into a shooting gallery. Arrows everywhere!”

 “Congratulations, you finally got the Summers and the Zetas to cooperate.” Internally, Laura winced at her own snarkiness. Carmilla was hurt and even in such dire times she couldn’t play nice with her sister. She’d thought they were over this adversarial part of their relationship after last year’s tied-you-up-and-starved-you-for-a-week phase, but apparently they both reverted to immature children when they were hurting. Knowing her behavior was juvenile and inappropriate, however, did not stop her from acting that way, but she was working on being better.

 “She managed to drag me in the bushes, but they put an arrow in her chest. I think part of it’s still lodged in there,” Mattie said, making Laura feel like even more of an ass. Of course Carmilla had gotten hurt protecting her sister. She didn’t know why she was surprised. The last time Carmilla had almost died it was because she’d fought her own mother… _for he_ r. “She needs blood,” Mattie insisted like it was the cure-all for vampires, and maybe it was.

 Well, at least that Laura could provide. “There’s some in the fridge. I… didn’t have time to clean it up yet.” She didn’t know who she was trying to fool, but she flicked her gaze to Carm anyway, like her ex-girlfriend would call her out on the lie. So she missed Carm, that was perfectly normal after you broke up with someone. She just didn’t want Carmilla to know that she missed her. But she didn’t need to worry about that because Carmilla didn’t seem to be paying attention to anything that either of them was saying. Carmilla just grimaced and made nearly inaudible groans of pain that Laura felt to her very core.

 When Mattie left to get the offered blood bag, Laura held Carmilla tighter, and became more acutely aware of Carmilla swaying back and forth as though her balance was off. “Hey,” Laura said, compelled to offer some sort of comfort, maybe take Carmilla out of whatever agonizing headspace she was obviously currently trapped in, and get her to look at her. Carmilla hadn’t opened her eyes once since stumbling through the door, and that was another unusual behavior that increased Laura’s concern.

 She cradled the side of Carmilla’s face and pushed her hair out of the way, needing a better look at her. As far as she could tell, there were no other wounds on Carmilla’s body, but it wasn’t as though she’d made a thorough inspection with such an obvious life-threatening injury staring her in the face when she’d first seen her. Laura had barely gotten to glance at her before Mattie came rushing back. The haste with which she was moving indicated more accurately than anything else that she was concerned about Carm’s condition as well. And if Mattie was concerned, than Laura feared she couldn’t fully comprehend how badly off Carmilla really was.

 “Here, sweetie. Here’s some liquid courage,” Mattie said as she lifted the bag to Carmilla’s lips. Laura felt the pressure in her chest lighten infinitesimally when Carmilla took a sip. To the best of her understanding, blood wasn’t only life to vampires, it also helped them heal more quickly. So if Carmilla was feeding, then she was going to be fine. At least that was how Laura was trying to think about it, even though she knew her anxiety wouldn’t totally be satisfied until Carmilla was back to her old, annoying self.

 “Mattie, where did you bring me?” Laura didn’t know whether to feel relieved that Carmilla was finally speaking, or a little worried that she couldn’t identify her mother’s old apartment. But then Carmilla turned to her with barely cracked open eyelids and said, “Oh, perfect.”

 Two such small words shouldn’t have had the power to pierce her heart so painfully, but they did. She should have been used to Carmilla’s practiced disaffectedness, but it always stung a little if she were honest with herself. This time, however, it seared even deeper because Carmilla was hurt and Laura doubted she had the energy to mask her true feelings. And if Carmilla really thought that she wouldn’t help her in her time of need, then maybe their entire relationship had been nothing more than a lie.

 “Yeah, it’s terrific to see you too,” Laura said, trying and failing to keep the hurt from her tone. She pulled her hands from Carmilla’s body, feeling as though she were crossing some unspoken line by touching her. Carmilla obviously didn’t trust her anymore, and she probably didn’t want whatever form of comfort she had to give.

 That distrust hurt her more than she could say, and Laura grasped at anything else to stop thinking about it. “She needs a surgeon.” _Where the hell were they going to get a surgeon at one in the morning?_  That was a stupid suggestion. Laura was fairly certain that going to the campus hospital would be a terrible idea for a multitude of reasons, but then another idea occurred to her. “Or, someone who spends way too much time thinking about human dissection.” She had one of those living right here, and Laura knew that LaF would be all for some experimental surgery no matter what time it was.

 “Terrific, rustle up one of your mad scientists, and let’s get the show on the road.”

 Laura looked at Carm, saw how much pain she was in, and steeled herself to do one of the hardest things in her life. “No,” she said, pulling away and standing up. She couldn’t sit next to Carm, be shoulder to shoulder with her, when she felt like she was betraying her. That was an impossible ask.

 “What?” Mattie said, standing up and going toe-to-toe with her. Laura was a little afraid that Mattie would just rip out her throat right there for daring to say no, for refusing to help her beloved sister, but this was about more than her. And as much as Laura hated seeing Carm in pain, she had to secure the safety of her friends first.

 Laura steeled herself and reaffirmed her answer. “No. You guys are on a rampage and I’m not going to risk my friends’ lives until you and I have an understanding.” _And please, please don’t kill me until I’ve at least put my offer on the table._

 “Understanding?” If anyone’s commanding tone could make people bow down to it, Mattie’s was in the top echelon, but Laura refused to submit. She refused to cower before Mattie’s power because she had something greater than herself to fight for. “Try this on for size? Your value to me ends the second you can’t, or won’t, help her.”

 Laura didn’t doubt for a second that Mattie truly believed that, but she put on a brave front anyway. Wasn’t it always a good idea to exude confidence even if you didn’t really feel it? Yes, no, maybe she just made that up, but she was sticking with that theory anyway. “Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. And as soon as that happens, you’re going to kill me in a way that would probably qualify as post-modern art. We’ve had this conversation. Only killing me, it’s not going to help Carm. And as much as you flounce around like the spokes-model for casual violence, you care about her. So here’s how it’s gonna be: I’ll call LaF and J.P, and they will help her, and then I will hide the two of you here until she recovers. And in return, neither of you is going to bite, maim, or kill anyone at all, for any reason. Because if you do, I will have the Baron’s army of stake-happy super-minions down here so fast that you’ll get whiplash. Understood?”

 After her long-winded ultimatum, the silence that followed for a beat afterwards seemed like an eternity. Laura wondered if Mattie was just trying to decide which way was the best to kill her, but she forced herself to keep eye contact, letting Mattie know that there would be no negotiating these terms. It was her first and final offer. Of course, Laura had no idea what she would do if Mattie refused, but the good news was that she’d probably be dead so she didn’t have to come up with a plan B.

 Finally, Mattie seemed to make up her mind. “Understood,” she said through gritted teeth. Laura released the breath she’d been holding ever since she stopped talking and threw a covert glance over at Carmilla. Carmilla didn’t seem to have any idea what was going on behind her, but that didn’t make the betrayal Laura felt twisting in her gut any easier to handle. She hated using Carmilla’s life as a bargaining chip, but what else could she do. Ultimately, this would be better for everyone. It would keep Carmilla safe as well if she wasn’t out wreaking spiteful havoc as soon as she had recovered.

 “Get your friend,” Mattie demanded, probably trying to take back some of the control she’d just given up. That was fine by Laura. She probably wanted to help Carmilla as much as Mattie did, it just couldn’t be her only concern right now. So she nodded her head eagerly before running out of the room. Now that their deal was struck, she didn’t want Carm to have to wait any longer than necessary to get the surgery she needed.

 Laura rushed up the stairs, going so fast that she was surprised she didn’t trip herself on one of the steps and fall flat on her face. If she had, she would have considered it penance for her distasteful ultimatum. She flew into LaF’s bedroom and quickly roused her friend, nearly dragging them out of bed when they stubbornly refused to get up. By the time she dragged them and J.P. out into the hallway, Perry was there as well, awakened by all the commotion they’d been making. LaF was very cranky when woken from their beauty sleep.

 When she came running back into the sitting room, dragging LaF behind her and followed by both Perry and J.P. Laura felt her stomach lurch with dread. Carmilla had been swaying slightly when she’d left, but now she was nearly doubled over in pain with Mattie whispering to her, trying to soothe her. Laura would never forgive herself if they were too late, and she didn’t even think about her earlier reservations as she let go of LaF and sat down next to Carmilla. She gently pulled Carmilla back into the cradle of her body, guiding Carmilla’s head onto her shoulder.

 Laura thought she could feel Carmilla relax against her infinitesimally, but it might well have been her imagination playing tricks on her and making her see what she wanted to see. She wanted to comfort Carmilla. In fact, she might even say that she needed to comfort her. It soothed her tortured soul to be holding Carmilla so intimately once again, with none of the bitter feelings between them, but there was something about it that didn’t feel right either. Their feelings weren’t simple or innocent anymore, and Laura was certain that Carmilla would have turned her away if she’d been aware of the deal she’d forced. _Why did they have to be so bad for each other?_

 For as long as it lasted, Laura would revel in this moment, cataloging every detail to remember later as though it were the last time she’d get to hold Carmilla. At least this time she’d know, and she could sear the memory forever into her mind. So she rocked Carmilla back and forth, careful not to move too much for fear of causing her even more pain, and pretended for just one moment more.

 Laura had tuned out all the activity going on around her, isolating herself in her fantasy, until Perry’s overly anxious voice broke the spell. “Have you all lost your minds? They can’t be here. They have been on a killing spree, and there are people hunting them all over campus.” And then Perry, ever the OCD, neat-freak had to add, “And she’s getting blood everywhere!”

 Perry made a good point, about them being here, not about the blood, but that was why Laura had forced Mattie to agree to her terms. “They’re on their best behavior, or I’ll call Vordenberg myself,” Laura assured her. She hoped that no one, particularly Mattie , noticed the way her voice caught on the last word. Laura hoped that she never had to follow through on the promise she’d made, because she didn’t know if she could call Vordenberg if it meant that Carmilla would die.

 “That might be difficult if they’ve ripped out all our throats!” Perry countered.

 Laura had to believe that Mattie wouldn’t go back on her word, but all she had for Perry was the same reassurance as before. “Vordenberg will kill them.” Most of her attention was still focused on Carmilla, so Laura couldn’t blame Perry if she found her repetitive answers inadequate.

 J.P. came back into the sitting room with a blanket and a first aid kit, and while Laura didn’t want to give Carm up, she had to. She helped J.P. and LaF sit Carmilla up and wrap the blanket around her, listening with only half an ear to Mattie and Perry argue over the newspaper staff. It was funny that the sole focus of her second semester at Silas was being discussed, and yet she couldn’t care less about what was being said right now.

 Laura helped push Carmilla up off the seat into LaF’s waiting embrace, ready to support Carmilla for the walk over to the sofa. As much as she didn’t want to let her go, she had to. She knew almost nothing about the human body, so she’d be useless in trying to help them extract the fragment of the arrowhead. The most useful thing she could do right now was moderate between Perry and Mattie, because Perry sounded about ready to go off the deep end and what they really didn’t need right now was an enraged vampire with Mattie’s centuries-old strength deciding that it really would be easier just to kill them all and find someone else to help her sister.

 But as much as she tried to focus on Mattie and Perry, Laura’s attention flew right back to Carmilla when she heard a cry of pain. She hated this. She hated being relegated to the sidelines and unable to do anything to help Carmilla. At least until LaF made the suggestion that Mattie and Perry stop fighting before it messed with the surgery they were trying to perform.

 Laura didn’t want to act like she was taking sides, but Perry was the one who’d been the instigator so far. So she reached out to touch Perry’s wrist, hoping to soften the blow a bit. “Perry.” She didn’t have to say anything more, which was good because Laura didn’t know what else she would say.

 “I know your heart’s in the right place, Laura, but you’re really not thinking this through.” Laura watched as Perry stomped away, wishing she didn’t feel so adrift right now. She was caught in the middle between her loyalty to Carmilla and her loyalty to her friends and she didn’t know how to balance them. It was impossible to make everyone happy, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to try.

 Her attention was pulled back towards Carmilla when LaF yelled, “Got it!” Laura couldn’t begin to describe her immense sense of relief in that moment. She watched Mattie walk over to Carmilla as J.P. and LaF left, wishing she could be at Carmilla’s bedside as well. But Laura didn’t even know if Carmilla would welcome her there.

 “How are you feeling, darling?” Mattie asked. It was a question that Laura was curious to know the answer to as well.

 “Like an overly-enthusiastic veterinarian just played _Operation_ with my innards.”

 Laura felt tears start to well in her eyes and she didn’t know why. She’d been on an emotional rollercoaster since Mattie had shown up with an injured Carmilla in tow, and that hadn’t even been more than a half hour ago. Laura didn’t know if she was about to cry because she was just so happy that Carmilla seemed to be doing better, or because she wanted to be the one Carmilla was joking with moments after she’d just been operated on. Nothing made sense right now and she needed time away from the crazy emotions Carmilla had always invoked in her, but she couldn’t force herself to leave. She felt compelled to be here.

 “Well, if that’s the case, it’s good we’ll be staying put for awhile, while you recover.” _Yeah_ , Laura thought, _staying put, because Carm and I always get along so well when we live together._ It kind of amazed Laura how they had been able to get along so well and live in relative symbiosis together when they’d been dating, but were terribly incompatible whenever they weren’t. Those quirks that she found endearing when they were together, were the same idiosyncrasies that drove her crazy when they were nothing more than roommates.

 “How did you get little Miss Tightly Wound to agree to that?” Carmilla asked.

 “She promised you were done with your little spree.” Laura could have kept her mouth shut and let Mattie handle the question, but she wanted to be part of the conversation. She hated the feeling of being relegated to the outer edges of Carmilla’s life, especially when her stupid vampire was still so much a part of her own, even if she didn’t always like to admit it.

 “You have got to be kidding me.”

 “It was either that, or take our chances with the Baron’s juiced-up army out there.” And there it was, Carmilla receiving all the information she needed to know that her life had been currency in the struggle of wills between her and Mattie. Laura wasn’t sure if she was thankful it was out in the open, or if she hated Mattie for telling Carmilla. There was no doubt that Mattie could use that little fact to her advantage, turning Carmilla against her even more. But honestly, Laura wasn’t so certain that she didn’t deserve it.

 She was pulled from her conflicting inner thoughts as Perry raced back into the room. “Perry, I thought we were going to talk later?”

 “Oh, we don’t have time for that,” Perry said, looking frantically over her shoulder at the two vampires in the next room. “We need to hide them! Now!”

 “What?” Carmilla had just had a broken shard of an arrowhead surgically removed from her chest and Laura didn’t know if it was a good idea to move her just yet.

 “The storm troopers are coming.”

 Laura could only think of one way to describe this new situation. _Oh crap!_


End file.
